I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!

What do you call a fake spaghetti?
An impasta.

I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.